I thought i’d start off my first blog post on a big subject, not only because it’s a big topic but because it’s not really talked about in the community i feel; i feel it’s something that should be covered more.
When you’re a “masc” lesbian i feel you get labelled with “the manly one in the relationship” and i know people don’t ever mean to offend but it’s something that plays havoc on future possible life decisions; like starting a family. Especially when you are yet to fully understand yourself and what you want your body and mental state to go through in life according to your life plans and choices.
Deciding to start a family is a big thing for any relationship, but more so for people in the LGBTQ+ community, this is due to needed to take other routes to have your own family, weather that be, IVF, Adoption, Surrogacy or anything else that’s an option. This is because it’s not just “trying for a baby” it’s talking it out, planning, making appointments, payments. It can also cause a lot of mental stress as well as relationship stress towards one another or together towards others; this is due to is causing a lot of pressure on you as a person, as a couple and on your future plans and affordability.
Another stress that comes with wanting to start a family as a member of the LGBTQ+ community is family; your family that’s around you, parents, siblings, grandparents etc. I don’t know about anyone else but when you’re in your early 20’s it’s that age where some say you’re too young, some say it’s the right time, some judge and some don’t. We have all different types of people around us in our age group, some taking education to the fullest, some started their family about a year or two ago, and everyone around you seems to be getting pregnant (they’re not it just feels like that’s all you see on facebook!😂)
The mental struggle i have with getting pregnant and being pregnant and this is due to me thinking about how people will see me and how i see myself, because not only do i fear the pain of child birth, i fear the possibility of mental trauma that i feel i will have. Caused by myself, people around me (strangers) and people who know me; as a masc lesbian it’s not easy for me to view myself walking around with a bump and a child in my belly when i look masculine. The mental trauma that comes to light when i think of being pregnant is heavy, the getting pregnant for me isn’t traumatic, that’s the easy part for my mental state to handle, but being pregnant is a wholeeee difficult category for my brain to get around. I guess it just leaves me with a lot of questions especially when LGBTQ+ people are still not fully accepted by really anyone, people can only take so much and some things just people cannot get their head around and that’s okay because i can’t even get my head around myself!😂
I don’t know if i’m talking rubbish or other people feel some of these things, and if they do i; why isn’t it talked about? I don’t know maybe i’m over questioning but it’s heavy on my mind!
Well, until the next time!
LGBTQ+ chats 